039 [video]

[failures]

[Larry intends to make this post short and sweet, so there's no fancy angles or openings or anything like that. It's just him in one of the Training Center's rooms.]

Hey, I got a question for you guys. You all know about golden birthdays, right? Well today's mine—man, I'm gettin' so old—and I have no idea what to do for it. I had a whole bunch of plans for it back home, but I can't do any of them now since I'm not there, y'know? I guess I shoulda made new plans but I wasn't expecting to spend three birthdays here. And I don't really have anyone in town to celebrate it with either, so that's a double whammy.

[He sighs and rubs the back of his head with his free hand. Man, this is the worst golden birthday ever.]

So yeah, any suggestions? If no one's got anything I guess I could grab a drink and try to get a new high score in that Rapidash Attack game.

[... Wow, that sounded really sad.]

Uh, thanks.

[He's just gonna cut the feed out now.]

Comments

[usedshooshpap]

THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING DUMB.
WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT OF MAKING *THAT* AN ACTUAL THING?

[failures]

Well I thought it was kind of cool. :(

[usedshooshpap]

YOU'RE HOW OLD AGAIN?
HONESTLY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOT YOUNGER THAN WHAT YOU CLAIM TO BE HERE.

[failures]

28. I know that's pretty old compared to most of you guys. But I'm glad I come off as younger!

[usedshooshpap]

THAT WAS MOSTLY A RHETORICAL QUESTION, LARRY.
I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF YOU COME OFF YOUNGER OR ACT YOUR AGE.
ADULTS ARE NOT COMMONLY FOUND INTERACTING WITH KIDS WHERE I'M FROM.

[failures]

Oh.

[Well this is embarrassing.]

What do you mean adults don't interact with kids?

[usedshooshpap]

THERE WERE NO ADULTS PERMITTED ON MY HOME PLANET?
ONCE YOU WERE OF AGE, YOU GET PACKED UP AND SHIPPED OFF TO JOIN THE FLEET IN THEIR NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE FOR GALACTIC DOMINANCE.

[failures]

Whoa. So did you have to take care of yourself all your life? That's really amazing.

[usedshooshpap]

YES AND NO?
WE HAD BEASTS CALLED LUSII THAT WOULD SORT OF TAKE CARE OF US.
THEY WERE OUR GUARDIANS AND PROTECTED US
WHILE WE WOULD TAKE CARE OF THEM AS WELL.
A TROLL AND HIS LUSUS SORT OF HAVE THIS SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP.
I KNOW THAT I CARED ABOUT THE OLD CRAB JUST AS MUCH AS ANY HUMAN COULD "LOVE" A PARENT.

[failures]

So your pets were your parental figures. I can get behind that.

Sorry for all the one-sided questions by the way. It's just super cool to hear about different worlds like this.

[usedshooshpap]

THEY AREN'T REALLY PETS
NOT IN THE SENSE THAT HUMANS THINK OF AS A "PET," ANYWAY.
I DON'T REALLY MIND THE QUESTIONS ANYMORE.
IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE JUST GOTTEN USED TO.

[failures]

Are they more like Pokemon then? Friends, partners. More than pets.

You're always welcome to ask me about my world if you're curious about anything. But there's a lot of us Earth people around so you might already know a lot...

[usedshooshpap]

I WOULDN'T CALL THEM FRIENDS OR "PARTNERS."
THEY *ARE* THE WILD BEASTS THAT ROAM THE PLANET'S SURFACE, ONLY A BIT MORE SYMPATHETIC TO THEIR CHARGES.
GRANTED, THERE ARE A LOT OF HUMAN THINGS THAT I DO KNOW
THERE'S A SHIT TON THAT I DON'T AND AM NOT QUITE SURE I WILL EVER GET SLASH UNDERSTAND.